In an act of ‘defensive trolling’, the Sun Newspaper declared today that all editions for the upcoming month would be in the form of a ‘risqué nudie flipbook.’ As a collection these dailies have been titled ‘It was the Bum wot won it’.
News Corporation, which owns the Sun, argued that it’s stance was in response to the self-congratulatory, public celebrations which happened online following rumours that Britain’s largest newspaper would cease to also being Britain’s largest provider of countryside breasts and daddy issues. Fearing the narrative going against him, it is thought that Rupert Murdoch has changed his mind about a classier page 3; full of knee slit dresses and backless selfies, and is now calling on the Sun’s editors to give the public ‘boobs, round boobs, big boobs, slightly smaller but still large boobs, just a lot of boobs’.
On Monday ‘readers’ will, for the first time, be able to flick through the daily newspaper to see a flipbook of Christina from Portsmouth flashing her breasts and criticising the looming statism of a Miliband government.
It is expected that this will still provide the Sun readership with enough time to masturbate.
In related news, other newspapers are thought to be thinking of their own novelty consumption methods- with the Daily Mail considering a Buzzfeed-esque temporary tattoo detailing a daily list of ‘Ten Things to Hate’.
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