Conservative Party Central Headquarters (CCHQ) was in full spin mode over the weekend, declaring that Prime Minister David Cameron had met his pledge to create the greenest government ever, ‘through his commitment to wearing green ties’.
Following scrutiny over the Coalition’s green credentials, a spokesman assured the press that Cameron was as committed to the green agenda now, as he has ever, ‘or will ever be’. The spokesman went on to add that this commitment was demonstrated by Cameron’s use of green ties, on foreign visits, state receptions and that one time when they had to trim the No.10 Christmas tree so it could fit through the door.
CCHQ went on to add that the Prime Minister had always stood right behind the green tie, using it to great effect in his defence of BP as it was accused of having a flagrant disregard for environmental safety. They claimed that it was an environmentally concious, and green tie clad Cameron,who promoted BP’s rights to pay dividends to British pensioners whilst still spilling millions of barrels of oil into the ocean.
Ed Miliband could not be reached for comment but it is rumoured that he is considering debuting a dollar bill neck chain in the coming weeks. Miliband hopes this will allow him to connect with ‘ordinary people who just so happen to have
fucktons of extraordinary amounts of money’. Failing this, there is further talk that Labour are considering creating a suit made out of £20 notes in order to demonstrate where Miliband’s priorities lie.
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Image Credit: Mattias Gugel/Medill, https://flic.kr/p/bD4cHR, Image has been edited using light and shadow effects