CULTURE

Miliband: ‘Dont mistake my kindness for weakness’ in bizarre Rihanna rift

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ed_Miliband_(2015).jpg
Miliband: ‘Dont mistake my kindness for weakness’ in bizarre Rihanna rift

#RihannaForNo11

In a recent interview Ed Miliband aimed to establish his credentials as a tough, strong leader through a bizarre tribute to pop singer Rihanna.

Miliband remixed one of her recent singles to identify that, contrary to howls of ‘weak’ from the right wing press, he would be able to take Britain to the brink of thermonuclear annihilation, and further into the zombie underworld thereafter.

Crooning softly to the press pack, Miliband began,

‘I think I’ve had enough, I might get a little drunk
I say what’s on my mind, I might do a little time
Cause all of my kindness, is taken for weakness
Now I’m Four Five Seconds from declaring war on Russia
And we’ve got plenty of time to mobilise troops
I’m just trying to win that election, hell yeah (!!!)
So I can bomb the absolute shit out of somewhere’

Unfortunately, video of the interview has not been made available but his comments were described by those in attendance as ‘daunting’, ‘foreboding’ and ‘hip’. A Labour Party spokesman expressed satisfaction that this would meet the expectations of ‘middle England’.

Naturally, critics in the Conservative Party were quick to denounce the manner in which Miliband delivered his statements, if not the angry, war-baiting rhetoric.

A Conservative spokewoman told us, ‘Look, we’re all for using new media and music to send a message – many of you will remember David Cameron’s Christmas duet with The Darkness in 2004. However, this recent episode doesn’t tell us that Miliband would be a strong leader, just the opposite.’

‘I mean, if he really wanted to send a message he should have considered more of Ri-Ris back catalogue – S&M would’ve been a good choice of course but Farage got to that one in 2012’.

Possibly Related Purchase: Five Year Mission: The Labour Party under Ed Miliband

Image Credit: Chatham House, https://flic.kr/p/sfwRkN, [Image has been edited using light and shadow effects]

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