Snap, crackle and pop have been abandoned in favour of a new trio, flavoured with a distinctive anti-EU tinge.
Spexit, Grexit and Brexit are allegedly the three modern names which will transform the branding of the iconic cereal. Kellogs declared that they are confident they are able to provide customers with a morning meal worthy of the 21st century, featuring a ‘modern name, reflecting society’s nuance’. When pressed on their creation, Kellogs commentated that Saatchi and Saatchi were responsible for it – having been paid a ‘truly disgusting amount’.
Kellogs’ move has not gone unnoticed across the Eurozone with Mario Draghi, Eurozone Central Bank President, criticising the company for glamorising both excessive public spending and excessive austerity. Draghi argued that now is not the time for ‘anti EU sentiments to be passed on to our children in the shape of blasphemous, over-sugared Anglo-Saxon breakfast crap’.
However others saw the move as an opportunity to capitalise, with domain squatters already trading rule 34 Spexit/Grexit/Brexit webpages for hundreds of pounds.
Finally, some were just concerned at the fate of their beloved cereal. Steve Ellos said ‘I just want to start my day on a high before I enter the horror that is my 9-5 job. I don’t want to be challenged about the strength of my brotherhood with the Greek people, or worried about the danger of losing package holidays to Marbella’.
When pressed for comment Snap and Crackle said they were looking into alternate career paths in order to avoid the same fate as Pop, which had already eaten itself.
Possible Related Purchases: Kellogg’s Rice Krispies, 510g
Image Credit: Mike Mozart, https://flic.kr/p/rbhX4B, [Image has been edited using light and shadow effects]