ECONOMICS & BUSINESS

Goldman Sachs considering new sea monster for corporate branding

Goldman Sachs considering new sea monster for corporate branding

#TrustCthulhu

The billion dollar global leader in ‘making money from money’ is considering a rebrand.

On Thursday 30th February the Executive Board of Goldman Sachs signalled it’s opposition to the current ‘great vampire squid’ moniker.

Following an extraordinary meeting of the board; commissioned because senior leaders believed the ‘vampire squid’ brand had somehow fallen in the public’s esteem, a united Goldman committed to presenting alternate sea monsters to shareholders by year’s end.

It was argued that a new name will allow the organisation to control the conversation, and embed within the monster its own ‘corporate and institutional values’, a Goldman spokesperson said using the air quotes the company is so famous for. ‘The great vampire squid showed tenacity, reach and sheer evilness, but what about our other values like greed, subversion and pride.’

Fans of the past vampire squid branding, which can be viewed in the current logo when seen from the right angle, are massing to throw their support behind mythical sea monster Cthulhu. On the other side it is believed that the sea witch from The Little Mermaid is a close second.

Despite the concerns of the Board the re-branding exercise may not be necessary, as one graduate jobseeker declared ‘I would be shafted by the vampire squid itself on a daily basis if I could get me some of that sweet semi-legal finance action’.

Possibly Related Purchases: The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine

Image Credit: 2bgr8STOCK, http://2bgr8stock.deviantart.com/art/Money-Cash-113445826

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