POLITICS

Fat young people to be told ‘Build your own homes’

Fat young people to be told ‘Build your own homes’

#BuildFattyBuild

David Cameron today proudly unveiled new requirements for anyone unemployed under the age of 25 who may wish to claim any form of benefit.

His measures were allegedly in response to the complaints of younger people that there were no decent jobs going and no housing available in most of the south. However, it is also thought that his decision was swayed by research suggesting many older people thought young citizens were ‘too lazy and demanding, – not like in our day’, and new shocking evidence that fat people probably don’t do enough exercise.

As such, and in accordance with the planning advice of election pimp Lynton Crosby, the Prime Minister revealed that younger claimants of jobseekers allowance would only be able to access the luxurious £72 handout if they demonstrated that they were building their own houses. (It has not yet been confirmed that they will be able to live in ‘their’ houses following completion.)

This revolutionary ‘2 stones, 1 bird’ approach aims to move people away from unemployment and onto a life of subsistence, precariat service. It has gone down exceedingly well amongst the neo-libertarian right and been mostly ignored by the young people it will soon effect.

Possibly Related Purchase: Call Me Dave: The Unauthorised Biography of David Cameron

Image Credit: Courtesy of stockimages at Freedigitalphotos.net

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