Britain First (BF) have astonished scientists nationwide by claiming that within months they will have the capability to artificially create life.
The BNP/ PEDIGA tribute group are allegedly planning to use this awe-inspiring power to create ‘a Trump of our own’ – a mythical, toupee-d nutjob, prophesied to bring status to the group and a ‘really, really big wall’ to the UK.
Most people are unaware of Britain First’s scientific capabilities, but, amongst the ex-BNP councillors and the general street hooligans, membership includes a surprising number of the biologists who originally cloned Dolly the Sheep and the Chuckle Brothers.
the UK Britain may soon be experiencing an uncomfortable outbreak of ‘The Donald’, generated different reactions across the country.
One woman told us, ‘Obviously, I appreciate Trump’s business acumen and his relatable advice, like: ‘inherit $500 million and then just sit and try not to mess it all up’. But I was really helping that Farage would grow into the bronzed demagogue this country needs. It wouldn’t be fair not to give him a chance, would it?’
In the hours following Britain First’s surprise announcement, rumours have circulated that the far-right group have experimented with genetic engineering of this sort for years. In particular, many have claimed that the identikit, angry, bald white man; seen across BNP, EDL, and BF demonstrations, was an early failure of cloning.
When questioned as to why his group of supposed Christians were trying to artificially create life, BF leader Paul Golding said, ‘defying the laws of nature to build a 50% more British Donald Trump is exactly what Jesus was talking about’.
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Image Credit: Gage Skidmore, https://flic.kr/p/9hHrVT, [Image has been edited using light and shadow effects]